I've given the talk "Banishing Loops with Functional PHP" (or "Functional Programming, it just depends on how I titled it) at least three times. But it's still, mostly a talk. You can watch a talk I've given many times right here:
Let's get it out of the way early: PHP is a strange and ugly language. It's not exceptionally fast. It's not beautiful syntactically. It's not formulated around a clear opinion about good software development practices. And it's still what I write a lot of software in. The obvious question is: why? Why use PHP today?